Eton Nosh

Eton Nosh, an engineer tired of all the politics in the office, meets Ferendossi Melanchi, a tall, intense man who offers Eton a card. “When you’re ready to try something new, just tap this number here three times.”

“Fascinating. I don’t see any embedded chip or anything. Does it need to connect to my cell phone or something to make the call?”

Feren laughs. “No, it’s a new technology around here, but it will get you an interview for a job you might enjoy – at least a lot more than the one you have.”

At some point Eton taps the card – and he’s teleported to a training center for IT recruits for Grand Galactic Bank and Repository. Enrolled, his name isn’t a hindrance in this new class. He doesn’t stand out at all. Galactic beings from two dozen planets are there – and so is Ferendossi.

“I was ready for a change. It helped that I could get a recruit from your planet.”

Somehow Feren gets control of all the wealth on Terra.

“You know, every planet is named Dirt in their own language. I don’t know why that is. Some philosophical discussions could spring from that, if I had the inclination.”

Okay, so at some point Eton figures out the banking process that allowed Feren to gain control of the Wealth of Terra and he gets it back, but in his own name.

Eton Nosh, owner of Terra, the surrounding planets, and other celestial entities in unrelated systems. Essentially, I’m now a landlord.


Yeah, this story has some potential. There are some sticky points. How did Feren manage to get the planet in his own name. Maybe a filing status thing or something. If Feren now owns the wealth of Terra, why does he bother with the class? Maybe there is a minimum commitment time, or there is jail time and fines? I have to figure that one out.

Feren is charismatic and charming and glib, very much a hedonist who makes no excuses for enjoying his life. Physically, he’s a tall humanoid, dark black hair, raven-dark. Clean-shaven (yeah, I thought about a mustache, but then we get a Snidley Whiplash sort of character, and that’s not at all what he is), so he is clean-shaven with emerald eyes. Clever. Loves to do card tricks. Has a novelty site where he sells cards created on other worlds, but on Terra they are unique. He’s done the same on other planets, so he has a nice steady stream of income. Nice clothes, neat and tidy.

Eton Nosh is short. He keeps his brown hair cut short so he doesn’t need to mess with it. Though he tries to stay clean-shaven, he has a five-o-clock shadow by three. He stands only five foot, nine inches tall, maybe slightly more than that, but that’s how he reports it. His eyes are blue, but a light blue that doesn’t attract attention from men or women. He hardly ever looks someone straight in the face, unless he’s talking about processes, which he is passionate about – or as much as he can be passionate about something. Not greatly muscular, but wide-shouldered and thick forearms with long hair on them. He has bushy eyebrows that most people notice right away. A nice smile, though he has a couple crooked teeth on the bottom front. He keeps them in good shape, with brushing and flossing. His nose is slightly crooked from getting hit one too many times as a kid, but otherwise unremarkable. He has some few freckles across the bridge of his nose, but you wouldn’t see them unless you were pretty close, and nobody really gets that close. It isn’t that he is unlikeable – he is. His coworkers like him and when he actually says something, they listen because they know it is worth their time. His bosses don’t like him much because he knows their jobs better than they do, and because he is liked among his peers. He is slim, but doesn’t look athletic. Maybe “fit” would describe him.

He likes puzzles. He likes word games. He likes sodoku, though he goes through periods with that, liking it for a while, then bored with them.

For now, that will do.

So now we meet Eton Nosh, owner of the wealth of Planet Earth.Oh,except he renamed it “Etonia.”